Working Hours: Monday to Friday 9 AM - 5 PM
Contact for consultation: hilary@hedcoaching.com
X

Hi, I’m Hilary.

I’m passionate about increasing gender equality in the workplace by building support structure, developing a sense of belonging and creating inclusive work cultures. I do this by supporting individuals and organisations build their equality, integrity and belonging.

Consultation

Contact Info

  • 146 Kloof Street, Gardens, Cape Town
  • +27 72 023 1127
  • hilary@hedcoaching.com
  • Week Days: 09.00 to 17.00 Saturday/Sunday: Closed

My Story

History

My Journey

My career started with a master’s in chemical engineering and a graduate role as a process engineer in Manchester, UK. I worked in corporate for around eight years before numerous considerations led me to leave that career. I volunteered in Nepal and India for several months whilst I worked out my next steps. Following my intuition as much as anything else, I went back to Manchester and enrolled in a masters in psychology.
I specialised in social psychology and the social identity of females, building on my own experience and starting my specific interest in gender transformation work. I subsequently studied a post-graduate diploma in coaching and started supporting gender equity on individual and organisational levels through my work. My volunteer work has always and continues to focus on female empowerment project, and I’m pleased to partner with NGO’s in South Africa and Lesotho in this capacity.
I now live in Cape Town, having moved here in 2019, and hold British-South African dual citizenship. I spend my down time on the mountain or by the ocean, being a keen runner, hiker, novice yogi and swimmer. I am passionate about my own personal development and love reading or trying different experiences that support my growth. Aside from that, you can find me enjoying a delicious glass of local wine, exploring the local wilderness, and catching up with my wonderful community.
My Learnings

The last seven years have been a significant period of transformation for me. The life I live now is not one I would have dreamt of back then. It has also been a period of exploration as I’ve had the opportunity to learn more about myself and the things that give me purpose and passion. During this time, I went back to university and changed career, moved to South Africa, ended a long-term relationship and been through two other significant relationships, got through the pandemic, studied again, started a business, had a miscarriage and supported my mother through terminal cancer. I also got to travel extensively, meet amazing new people and tick a lot off my bucket lists, learn a lot about myself and the world. These experiences I have had along the way have taught me a lot about change, belonging, authenticity, purpose and courage. I’m privileged that I can use my own experiences to support other’s through their own transformation. From this, these are the three key lessons that have had the biggest impact on my own life, and the foundation to the support I can offer to others now:

01
Get to know yourself
I was lucky that I had the resources to take time after my mother’s death to travel, volunteer and make decisions about what my next steps looked like. I went to India and Nepal to take part in some female-empowerment projects. Life changing is cliché but true. Working with these women, in cultures so different to my own, helped me understand myself more through an external lens: my values, my privileges, the things that bring me joy and the things I take for granted. Travel (especially solo travel) continues to be one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences we can allow ourselves, as it puts us outside our comfort zone and shows us some of our patterns. I’ve also continued to work on my own healing and growth through different modalities such as talk therapy, somatic practices, and constant learning through books and podcasts. Reflection is key to understanding oneself and making decisions that align with our desires, values and beliefs. The more we know ourselves, the more empowered we are to build a life we love.
02
Find belonging
We are social beings and rely on the people around us to meet our belonging needs. In leaving my old life behind, I really felt the important of community and the people around me. Family and old friends who remain constants in our lives through change, and new friends and relationships that come into your life to form new community around you. The people in our lives, family, lovers and friends, give us support and security, love and care that we need to feel held and valued for who we are. The community we create around us directly impacts our sense of self, and how we show up in the world. It creates the stable base from which we have the strength to springboard into our lives. Moving to Cape Town was a challenging experience in starting from scratch in building this community, and I am so grateful for the friendships and relationships that have formed. It took time and energy to intentionally invest in relationships. Most importantly, belonging comes from relationships that love and care for all aspects of me, including the bits of me I don’t always love myself! .
03
Work on your purpose
Each of us has a unique purpose in life and it sometimes takes time for us to find it. My experience working as an engineer and in male-dominated roles was essential for me to understand the important and impact of the work I do now. Volunteer in female-empower projects ignited my passion for gender equity and for working with under-served communities. Working as a manager and studying psychology helped me develop a deeper understanding of people and build my empathy and curiosity. All of these are key experiences that happened to best prepare me for the work I do now which gives me direction and fulfilment. Our purpose may not be work related, and we may be constrained by aspects in life as to how much we can live into our purpose. Purpose could be found in parenting, in our hobbies or after-work activities. Purpose can be found in faith or support we offer to others. Our learning is in recognising where we are drawn to investing energy, the activities and people that bring us joy, and the accomplishments in life we are most proud of.